MonkMojo's 1000 Cuts

Dear Mr. MonkMojo,

Thank you for ordering your life’s purpose from the Happy Happy Purpose People. (stock symbol HHPP) We sincerely regret that it took 42 years for you to receive yours. In 1965 your mailman was hit by a car and your Life Purpose was lost in the evidence storage room at the police station. We know; bummer.

We have thought about you often over years, ya know, wondering how you were doing without a Life Purpose and all. It made for many great laughs in the employee break room. We’re sorry about Bob sending you all of those fake Life Purposes over the years. He’s really not a bad guy, he just takes his Life Purpose of being the company funny guy a little too far sometimes.

You have to admit that stretch of years when you thought you were supposed to be an entrepreneurial genius was freakin’ hilarious!!1! And who can forget the early days when you thought you could play football, LOL! Monk “Crazy Legs” Mojo, ROFL!

Please know that Bob is truly sorry about your brief stay in college. He had no idea you would have had such an adverse reaction to LSD. Frankly, we seriously didn’t believe you would fall for the idea that you were the reincarnation of Jimi Hendrix. Although, the way you could mouth the solo guitar parts of Purple Haze was impressive.  BTW, your air guitar could still use a little work.

Admittedly, we over corrected when we led you into the Army for perhaps the longest four years of your already miserable life. But hey, you muddled through it like a champ! If you think about it, it made all the years since seem relatively ok, except for the nervous breakdown and subsequent few years of depression.

The good news Mr. MonkMojo is that you now have your real Life Purpose! Due to inflation over the last 42 years you now owe us $9,785.95. Since Bob goofed up most of your life we are going to waive the shipping and handling fees! We just know you are going to love it, as it has absolutely nothing to do with what you are doing now.  You will be relieved to know (as we were) that blogging is discouraged. Your blog is cute and all, but seriously, a real life awaits you. Please pay in full within 30 days to receive your Life Purpose or we will be forced to turn you over to our legal department and collection agency.

Sincerely,

Happy Happy Purpose People Inc.


PS - Act now and receive the “Personal Development Bloggers Gone Wild” and “Life Hackers After Hours” videos for FREE.

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Related Reading:


Vern Lovic  -  What Is the Point of Life?